Do you notice of yourself that you get easily irritated and end up in a lot of fights, then you could say that you are not in control of your anger. If you are troubled by anger then this is nothing strange, but if your tantrum goes out of hand then this can have serious consequences for you and your surroundings. Can you not control your anger then this can also have negative consequences for your relationship, but also your health. Only if you know your reasons, that cause your tantrums, only then you can improve your condition regarding anger. It is very normal that you can be angry with someone or feel anger through some situation. Now it is important not to see the feeling as the problem, the problem is what you will do with this feeling, it is what you do with it what makes the difference.
To try and control your anger you should ask yourself why you get irritated so quickly. If you have anger problems it could be that you already had these when you were a child. Were there any problems in the household during your childhood and were they solved by throwing stuff everywhere and starting to scream to each other, then it can seem fair that this is the normal way of expressing these feelings. If you for instance have experienced traumatic events during your childhood or have known much stress, then this can also be a reason for your anger moments.
Start paying attention why you are suffering from a tantrum and you often find out that you do this to hide other feelings. You could for instance ask yourself if you were really that angry or were you trying to hide feelings of shame, insecurity, pain or something else negative. When you notice in time that your mood is getting worse you could try to start to control your anger before you get into trouble that you cannot control anymore.
When you watch and pay attention to that of which you feel that you do not control the anger in your body anymore, then you can start to prevent the problems. Watch if you start feeling knots in your stomach, when you start making fists, you can start to sweat and your body can feel moist, your breathing might go up a lot. These are all signs that you are starting to feel angry, and when you start identifying these signs in time, you can start to control the anger. Before these physical sensations you might start noticing negative thoughts, by controlling the negative thoughts you can also start to control the anger.
Do you want to try to control your anger then you should always be busy with your normal routine, try to identify activities, watch the different moments of the day, and avoid places or situations that make you sensitive. If you start recognising all of the things that keep getting you to be angry, you can start to think about how to avoid these situations, but you can of course also start to see these situations from a different point of view.
If you are familiar with the signals that heat up your mood, you can more easily act and control your anger. In these ways you can make sure you are facing less troubles. When you feel that you are about to get a tantrum, and you recognise this in time, you can try to take a few deep breaths to reduce your feelings of anger. You have to make sure you are breathing deep and slow from your belly. In this way you are getting the most fresh air possible, into your lungs.
Are you finding yourself in a situation where the chances of getting enraged are apparent, then you could go for a walk for instance. When you go for quite a long walk this will give you energy and space, then you can look at the situation with a calmer mind and make more sense of it all. The ancient counting to ten could still help to control your anger, you have to pay attention to the counting however, are you not able to keep your focus then start counting from 1 again.
Are you still angry about some situation, then you have to start thinking about it. You can ask yourself how important it is that you get angry about this each time. You can find yourself in the same situation over and over again which makes you angry, then ask yourself if it is worth it to stay angry about this. Is this situation worth the effort to be angry about this the whole day, do I let this ruin my whole day? There are also situations that you can experience in which you can get angry about, after which you can ask yourself if it was useful to react so intensely to this.
If after you have tried everything your anger is still not in control you can see a professional to look at your situation.
