If we are discussing communication, we are definitely not only talking about the things we say. The contents of our story is only 7% of what we find important. The intonation of your voice is already a lot more important. This is namely determinant for 38 per cent of the amount interest in someone you have. Nonverbal communication is however even more important. We are talking about 55% here! Often we are not even that aware of our nonverbal communication. It is however important that we become aware of this, so that you can choose yourself what kind of impression you are leaving behind.
The most important aspect of nonverbal communication to which you should pay attention to is eye contact. When you are making eye contact with another person, you show that you are interested in this person and that you feel involved. You will show that you take the other person seriously and that you listen to what the other person has to say. Only look away after a minimum of two to three seconds, otherwise you might project fear and insecurity.
At the start of a business meeting you are usually shaking the hand of the person(s) you are meeting. It is perhaps a small gesture, but this can however still leave a certain impression to your business partner or customer. If you give a strong hand, you will project self confidence and energy. Make sure however that you don’t squeeze the hand of your meet up too hard. Shake the hand once or twice, in the mean time make eye contact and smile.
When you are telling a story to someone, you can make gestures while you talk. Make sure that these gestures match what you are saying. When you are playing with your hair or are ticking with your pen on the table, this does not match your message and will distract the other person. It is a good idea to use your hands to depict your story and show your enthusiasm. Don’t overdo it however, don’t make any theatrical movements. You don’t want to come across as someone who exaggerates everything.
Often we are unconsciously copying the body language of someone that we are talking to. This means that we are interested in this person and that we admire him or her. Besides your partner will get the unconscious feeling that there is a connection, because your body languages match. Again we have to mention to not overdo the copying of the body language. It is really important that the other person does not know that you are doing it intentionally.
By looking at your posture, one can see if you are self confident and if you are open for the other person. When you sit up straight, you project self confidence and energy. Place both of your feet onto the floor securely and spread your legs a little. Furthermore it is a good idea if your arms are visible. When you are sitting on a chair for example, you can lean your arms on the elbow rests. Are you crossing your legs or your arms? Then you are showing that you are not self confident or that you are distancing yourself from the conversation.
Perhaps the most important tip of them all. When you smile a lot during the conversation, you will make a chemical in your brain that will actually make you really happy. A smile is contagious, so the chances are that your conversational partner will also start to smile. With a smile you show that you are listening and enjoying the story your partner is telling you. Thus you will leave behind a positive impression when you do this.
Your conversational partner does not only listen to what you are saying, but as explained in the introduction, more so to how you are saying it. It is thus important that you bring across your message in the right tone. You need to choose a tone that fits your message. It is also important to pay attention to the volume, articulation and speed. Make sure that your tone is natural, not too fake or blown up. People will see through this.
The position of your body is also a form of nonverbal communication. If you are directing your body, from top to toe, to the other, then you will show him or her that you are giving him or her your fullest attention. By turning your body away, or crossing your legs or arms you are not showing any interest in the story of your partner.
Another important form of nonverbal communication in which you directly show your partner that you are listening, is to nod once in a while. Of course you should not overdo this, because then it will look fake. Listen carefully to the story of your conversational partner and nod during the times that it is appropriate.
It could be that during the conversation your nose start to itch or you simply want to rub your forehead. It is not recommended to to this. When you touch your face during the conversation – especially when you do this a couple of times –, you can give the person you are conversing with the impression that you are nervous. And you do not want this of course.
Of course it is important that you talk calmly, so that your partner can hear what you have to say. But it is also important to calmly walk and move. Perhaps you have the feeling that you are doing this already, but it can still go quickly for the other person. When you are walking more calmly, move and talk, it shows that you are relaxed and self confident. For this tip it is also important to keep in mind not to over do it, because it should not start to look like a slow motion movie picture.
During the conversation, you should not only be involved in your own body language and what kind of impression this makes to the person you are talking to, but also watch his or her body language. You can for instance see when someone wants to ask a question or when he or she wants to leave for a minute. React to this and ask your partner if the feeling matches the reality If you become a bit better in observing nonverbal communication, you can use this wisely during a conversation.
